Cinematic Pain

I've been a b-movie enthusiast for several years now. I deliberately seek out obscure, bizarre, or just plain bad films in the hopes of finding something as entertaining as Fiend Without a Face (1958), Carnival of Souls (1962), or Bride of the Monster (1955). It doesn't matter if the movie's entertaining because it's really good (e.g., Carnival of Souls) or because it's an utter cinematic disaster and is "so bad it's good" (e.g., Bride of the Monster). Because I've seen so many movies from the low end of the quality scale, I'm generally forgiving of most movies' flaws and can still find them at least moderately enjoyable. However, as anyone who shares this particular hobby knows, you will occasionally find a movie that is so bad (boring, confusing, cheesy, moronic, etc.) that it has no entertainment value. These are movies that even Mike/Joel and the 'bots from Mystery Science Theater 3000 can't save.

I believe there are three types of movie viewers: normal people who will consciously avoid b-movies, casual b-movie fans who don't actually watch b-movies but instead watch classics like The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) that many viewers misidentify as b-movies, and true b-movie fans. The true b-movie fan, who often suffers from self-loathing and masochism, will watch a horrendous film just to say that he watched it. And no matter how bad it is, he will suffer through to the very end of the movie. He may yell at the screen or swear eternal vengeance against the film's director or producer, but he will still watch the entire accursed thing. And then, because most masochists also have a touch of sadism in them, they will recommend the movie to a like-minded friend.

This week I will be covering six films that only the true b-movie fan can survive, although not without questioning his hobby. Even though I saw all six with the benefit of the MST3K gang's company, each one of them was a trial of endurance. Three of them are from the same writer/producer/director, against whom I intend to wreak a terrible vengeance (even though he died in 1973). These are truly awful movies; films that are so bad they're... well, just bad.

First up: The Blood Waters of Dr. Z (great title, lousy movie).