Cinematic Pain Part I: The Blood Waters of Dr. Z (1975)

I've already mentioned The Blood Waters of Dr. Z in a previous post. You'd think that a movie in which a deranged scientist turns himself into a toxic gillman would be great. What could possibly go wrong with this concept? Well, I'll tell you; it can have annoying narration, a plot that makes little sense, and can be deathly boring, even when the monster is on screen.

As I described this monstrosity in my prior post:

Dr. Leopold creates a chemical intended to mutate sea life into his own personal army to "take over the Universe" (with mutant fish? Do these people even know what the Universe is?). The only apparent effect of the stuff seems to be that it makes fish able to breathe out of water and walk on land. This makes them a nuisance, not a menace. In the meantime, Leopold transforms himself into an ersatz Creature from the Black Lagoon and goes on a distinctly lackluster rampage. Mostly he's trying to transform a human female into a monstrous mate for himself. The end is pointless and confusing, the movie's characters are utterly lifeless, obscene amounts of time are spent watching characters drive around, and the monster suit is downright embarrassing.

This movie is obscure enough that there's really no other way to find it nowadays except on Volume XVII of MST3K. With Mike and the 'bots making wisecracks throughout, the film is merely intolerable. Without them, I think it could actually induce insanity.

Next up: Red Zone Cuba (one of three movies on this list that can be blamed on Coleman Francis).

Not even the guys in the front row can save this one