Thursday, December 2, 2010

Cinematic Pain Part IV: The Skydivers (1963)

Like The Blood Waters of Dr. Z, I've already mentioned Coleman Francis' bore-fest The Skydivers in a previous post:
The title says it all. Really. Well, I guess there's some sort of plot going on. A couple having marital problems runs a small airport and makes a living by giving skydiving lessons. There's an unfortunate death when one of their regular students violates the rules and tries to open his parachute below the required altitude. Scratch one minor character. Then the husband's jilted mistress teams up with a disgruntled former employee to put acid in the husband's parachute just before the big public demonstration. Scratch one major character. As the murderers flee by car, the cops follow by light aircraft, shooting at them along the way. Although I don't remember the villains carrying guns, the cops shoot them down during the foot chase anyway. Scratch the two most interesting characters in the movie.

Unfortunately, most of this movie is padding (much of it stock footage of skydiving) with the murder plot taking up only the last 15 minutes or so.
I had forgotten to mention the overlong dance sequence that seems to have been included to add some humor to the movie (it doesn't), as well as the fact that the husband is played by an actor who is incapable expressing any form of emotion. This man would make a Vulcan proud. Finally, not only is the plot paper-thin, but you also have to deal with the film's very poor sound quality. The only thing worse than boring, stilted dialogue is boring, stilted dialogue that you have to strain to hear.

Next up: Monster A Go-Go (the first movie I ever yelled at).

Thrill to the coffee-pouring action of The Skydivers!

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